Right now, you may feel sadness, anger, shock, relief or surprise.., or a wide variety of other emotions. As "life events" go, this is a big one, but I don't need to tell you that. It may cause major stress and anxiety to you, even if you and your partner both agreed to end the relationship. House, money, children, pets, dating and sex are all issues that suddenly need to be navigated.

Your emotions are most likely heighten by this experience. Even if you are feeling hopeful and happy about the endless new opportunities, it may be coupled with uncertainty, fear, confusion or lack of confidence. Or you are sad, distraught and want nothing more then you and your partner to reconcile. One thing is clear when separation or divorce are looming: the love you promised to each other forever is in serious danger.

Perhaps you and your spouse agreed to split up. Or maybe there have been angry scenes and tears. You may still love your partner, while they've fallen out of love, or vice versa. How do you make a decision about whether to stay or leave? One good rule is to ask yourself whether you are better off with or without that person. The question isn't easy.

Most of us select a partner based on many factors, some not even conscious to us. For example, you unconsciously married a very controlling woman, because your Mother was controlling, so you found someone familiar. While you may hate feeling controlled by a woman, it's also known and predictable to you. Or you chose a man who's very adventurous because he lives out the excitement you are afraid to experience for yourself. Because the process of finding a partner is so complex like this, the process of unhooking is also complicated.

If you and/or your partner are contemplating a split, it may be a good time to talk to a counselor or therapist to help you navigate through the decision, in a professional and compassionate way. Their goal is to help you move on, move forward and guide you into doing the best for yourself.