When we think about anger, we typically think of the following:
- People who have control issues. When anger feelings arise, they can't control their reaction, therefore get easily upset.
- People who have trouble with their emotions (any emotion), who act in ways that can be harmful to self and others.
- People that are harmful to self and others are led into addictive behaviors such as drug addiction, alcohol addiction, substance abuse, gaming addiction, sex addictions, and other harmful behavior.
BUT WE ALL GET ANGRY. It is not the emotion, but what we do with it that becomes the problem. Anger can be a good thing. It can push us to make the changes we need. It may be a signal that we need to protect ourselves or it can be a motivator for change.
Often anger comes out of fear, however fear itself is not to be feared. Epictetus said two thousand years ago, "Men are not troubled by the things themselves, but by their thoughts about them". It is well known that different people can assess the same situation differently. Why do you suppose this is? Partly because of the different belief systems people have, various life experiences, and the level of learned problem solving skills one may have acquired. Think back to when you were growing up and ask yourself how did your parents deal with anger? Did they express anger by not talking about it? Walk away and go to the opposite side of the house? Did they yell, slam doors or get violent?
Chances are that when you probably get angry you do the same. Anger does not only affect others and our surroundings it also affects our health, causes illness and destroys lives.
WHEN IS ANGER A PROBLEM?
- When it occurs to often
- When it is to intense
- When it last to long
- When it leads to aggression
- When it disrupts your relationships and your work
- When it makes you ill
- When you are facing legal problems
If you are feeling that your anger has gotten the best of you. I can help you learn how to respond to the situation and not lose control. Together we can explore alternative healthy ways to deal with this emotion.
